Why are our men shooting themselves in the foot?

Ashlesha Khedekar
3 min readJun 16, 2021

It took Rolls Royce 150 years, that’s a century and a half, to appoint a female as CEO. This freshly minted CEO joins the small community of women who managed to break the glass ceiling. It’s great news. The dearth of women in senior management positions is well documented and persists. There is a plethora of research on how women face discrimination in their ascent of the corporate ladder, and how representation in government, industry and business is limited. Any and all additions are welcome. Particularly when women’s participation in labour markets has been declining and has taken a severe blow during the pandemic induced lockdowns across the world.

Globally, 74% of men who are able, participate in the workforce. For women it is around 48%. Given that men outnumber women in most workspaces, one can safely assume that control over decisions regarding hiring, pay hikes and promotions lie with more men than women. Implicitly it appears that it is men who are perpetuating gender discrimination against women: the marriage tax or mommy penalty and other gender stereotypes which result in lower pay, fewer opportunities for advancement and discriminatory hiring practices which discourage women from participating in the workforce. Combined with limited flexi working roles, rising costs of childcare facilities and societal norms — it is more economical and practical for some women who have an earning spouse or partner to quit the labour force partially of fully. Mission accomplished. Break out the bubbly.

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

The flip side of this type of discrimination is that it puts so many men in the position of being the sole breadwinner in the family. This might not have been a problem 50 or 75 years ago but recent studies are indicating that being the sole or main breadwinner is having an adverse impact on the health of our men. The stress and pressure is taking a toll, especially in the current, pandemic effected economy where job loss and pay cuts have hit so many. A study conducted by University of Connecticut sociologists in 2016[1], found that the more economic responsibility a man has in his marriage the more his health and psychological well-being declined. For men who were the sole breadwinner, physical and psychological health was at its worst.

Making matters worse, the ubiquitous social stigma surrounding mental health discourages men from seeking help for maintaining their mental and emotional wellbeing. For some men these issues can affect their productivity and performance and therefore impact their income. Others may adopt “unhealthy” coping mechanisms like substance dependence or other addictions. The harm that these faulty coping mechanisms can do to the man and to his family, is not just emotional. The economic and financial damage can be devastating.

So, the question: why are men putting themselves in this situation? By discriminating against women in hiring, promotions and pay they are indirectly effecting the wellbeing of other men. Their homies, their bros. How can we help them get the message and change their behavior, in the best interest of all involved?

The answer: Put the focus back on them. People should not be forced into behaving a particular way, this approach tends to backfire. Repeatedly tomtoming the gender equality message, albeit backed with statistics, has proved painfully slow in making a difference. SO, change the framing of the message; shift the focus on to how the discriminatory behavior is actually akin to self-harming and we may see a difference rapidement.

The instinct for self-preservation is much stronger than altruism. The fear that it might happen to you too acts as a deterrent to perpetuating the behavior (recall the reactions to the #metoo movement). The new messages for gender equality in the workspace can be along the lines of these gems: simple, short, to the point and pun intended!

#Hire women. Be calm and carry on.

#Equal work means equal pay, keep your doctor away.

#Women on top. The best position for your annual physical.

[1] https://today.uconn.edu/2016/08/family-breadwinner-unhealthy-men/

--

--

Ashlesha Khedekar

Behavioral Economist l Challenger of the Conventional l Breaker of Stereotypes